Why It’s A Good Thing If You Haven’t Yet Found Yourself | The Cupid Bow

We live in a world of pressure. It’s everywhere you look and you can’t escape it. Take right now for example. I’m sitting watching a repeat of Don’t Tell The Bride, green tea in hand, watching this poor bloke tug his hair out trying to pull together a wedding in just 3 weeks for his ever-demanding, probably-never-gunna-be-able-to-please-her-just-give-up-mate future wife/ball and chain. She wants a castle with unicorns. FLIPPIN’ UNICORNS. Firstly, what are you, four? And secondly, what do you expect him to do? Go down the nearest stables, ask to borrow a few white stallions for the day and strap rainbow-dyed horns to their heads? (He doesn’t by the way. Although I kinda would’ve loved to have seen that). The poor guy runs around like a headless chicken for 3 weeks under enormous pressure in order to make his fiancée as happy as possible. But the saddest thing is that she probably only wants all of these materialistic unneccessities because she feels she has to. That her wedding needs to be talked about, deemed “one of the best weddings ever”. Or maybe she really did just want unicorns. Either way, the episode is a metaphor for modern society and the pressure we put on each other.


We’re born into the same, repetitive, boring-arsed cycle. Go to school, go to college, go to university, get a degree, get a job, build your career, buy a house, pay your bills, die. I’m sorry, but we were not put on this earth to just simply pay our bills and then pop our clogs. I’m pretty sure that’s not what the big man upstairs had in mind for us. How many of you can raise your hand and say you absolutely love your job? That it’s what you always dreamed of doing, or if not, you’ve discovered something else that has you jumping out of bed every Monday morning, belting out your own rendition of “Hi ho, hi ho, it’s off to work we go…” If you do, fantastic! Please record yourself singing and send it over to me, I want to hear your musical talent. But if not… Why? You spend at least 40 hours a week at work, surely you’d rather be doing something that completely and utterly enthralls you, challenges you and is just the absolute dog’s danglies. Now I do understand that sometimes we do have to be realistic. Sure, we’d all love to be the next Beyonce or Zinedine Zidane (check my football knowledge… I didn’t even Google that either) but let’s be honest, that’s mostly down to luck and being in the right place, at the right time, with the right people and the right opportunities (not to mention immense talent and RIDICULOUSLY amazing legs – applicable to both). We have to stay grounded but it’s important to have ambition, drive and most DEFINITELY dreams. However, if you’re feeling a bit bored, a bit stuck and a bit lost within your job, life in general or just yourself… Then it’s actually a good thing. And I’m about to tell you why.

It’s a good thing because you’re still hungry for life. You haven’t given in to the mundane, expected routine that we could all so easily succumb to. You’re not done yet and you being unhappy with the way things are will actually push you to figure out what WILL tickle your pickle. It’s the ol’ cliche saying “life is too short” but you know that. I’ve changed careers about 5 or 6 times now. I get bored easily. A couple of months ago I visited a medium and she revealed my aura colour to be lavender, which she said was unusual. I remember her describing me to be “free without physical, emotional or mental limitations”, that I “need to fly with the wind”, to be able to change into any direction at my own will. And she couldn’t have been more right. I’m not one to sit around and be unhappy with life. If something is boring me and not fulfilling my creativity, then I will move onto something else. Am I feeling satisfied with life at this particular moment in time? No, I am not. And that’s what inspired this blog post. I’m feeling a little lost, stuck and fed up… But I don’t view it as a negative. I’m planning my next chapter in life, and I WANT change. I’m not at my final destination yet, and to be honest with you I’m glad. Because once you’ve reached that finish line, what’s next?

I want the absolute most from my life. We all do, right? We don’t want to look back with any regrets or what ifs. Albeit, I am lucky in the sense that I don’t have any real responsibilities. Yes of course I have bills to cover each month, but I don’t have a family to look after, I’m single and I’m young enough to change direction and find what it is that does have me jumping out of bed singing.  However, even those who do have those responsibilities, why should they stop you thriving for life or be viewed as obstacles? My 28 year old sister brought the most wonderful little boy into the world three years ago, and all it’s done is fill her (and my) life with complete joy. She’s found herself. She’s found her song. And I couldn’t be happier for her. He wasn’t planned, but it turns out he was what she was looking for all along. Her life path changed and I’ve watched her grow into a better mother day by day. Life works in weird and wonderful ways and the universe gives us exactly what we need at exactly the right time. Remember that when you’re next feeling low. Whatever is happening, is happening for a reason. It’s guiding you onto your next page. Be trusting and turn with it.

So if you haven’t yet found yourself, be excited. You are lost for a reason because you have so much more to give. And good for you. Go travelling, quit your job (if you’re in a position to) and go see the world. Make bad choices and make good choices. Because it’s called LIVING. Live the f*ck out of your life. There’s always enough time and there’s never a right time. Just do it. You might never find what it is that you’re supposed to be doing, but you’ll have gone on one hell of a ride. Don’t crack under the pressures of life, because who said there’s a correct way to live your life anyway? There isn’t, there’s only your way, so get going. And actually, you’re not lost at all. This is exactly where you are meant to be right now. Look forward to what is coming next… It’s going to be amazing.

Which is more than what I can say for this Don’t Tell The Bride episode. Now he’s gone full circle and decided to turn the wedding into a heavy metal mosh pit. Mate if I were you, I would’ve given her the unicorns. Always go with the unicorns.

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  1. Rachel
    August 2, 2015 / 8:35 pm

    Brilliant. This is my attitude to life and it as made it SO much better!

  2. Carly Ratcliffe
    August 2, 2015 / 8:45 pm

    Woop! Thanks for reading my love x

  3. Vikki Hale
    August 2, 2015 / 9:18 pm

    Loved this post!! Really hit home as I have been feeling like this lately. I definitely can relate to the career paths in 2/3 years I changed career 8/9 times but do have a job I really enjoy now which wasn’t what I expected x


  4. Jessie
    August 2, 2015 / 9:21 pm

    I LOVE THIS! I feel like I am quite caught up in the cycle already, but I am looking forward to having a career – as long as it’s one that completely fulfils me and my life! If I’m ever bored or unsure about what I’m doing I think I will always look for a change and to really work to enjoy my life is as good as it can be! : ) xx

    Jessie | allthingsbeautiful-x

  5. Carly Ratcliffe
    August 2, 2015 / 9:24 pm

    Amazing to hear! I’m in the process of changing again I think… As tiring as it is ha. Thanks for reading! x

  6. Carly Ratcliffe
    August 2, 2015 / 9:25 pm

    Good girl! 😉

  7. Victoria
    August 2, 2015 / 9:35 pm

    I can really relate to this one, at 26 I’ve still not yet picked *one* career to do. In fact the thought of having one job forever I just don’t think it would work for me, too many interests and too many things I want to try… Now I just need *a* job to start off with!

    Victoria x |

  8. Carly Ratcliffe
    August 2, 2015 / 10:24 pm

    Don’t settle then. Do it all xx

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