This Is The Person You Should Look To Fall In Love With

December. The last one, and considered by many to be the best one. The end of a year, the chance of a new beginning, looking back fondly over the past 12 months. Christmas is by far my favourite time. Winding down from work, spending quality time with friends and family and shovelling mountains of Quality Street into my mouth without anyone raising an eyebrow.

New Year however, I find is more of a time of self-reflection. I’ve often become emotional when the clock strikes twelve; not necessarily for negative reasons. But it’s a reminder that another year has left. 365 days behind us and another 365 ahead, waiting for us to spend however we wish. It’s both exciting and quite daunting to absorb the fact that your future really is in your own hands. It’s up to you how you write this next chapter, and it’s your choice who you cast into it.

Most of us want love. In fact, everybody wants love. All consuming, can’t-get-you-out-of-my-head type of love. I’ve lost count of how many times when the clock has struck midnight on New Year’s Eve, in between sipping from my glass of prosecco and planting kisses on my besties’ cheeks, that I said to myself “this year… Is the year I find it.”

And sometimes that does make me emotional; as it sinks in that I’d said that last year, and probably the year before. Until last New Year’s.  


“Most of us want love. In fact, everybody wants love. All consuming, can’t-get-you-out-of-my-head type of love”


The thing is, love is so much easier to find than you think. To quote Hugh Grant in one of my all-time favourite films, “love actually is, all around”.  You just need to make sure that you’re looking for it in the right places. I love fully and deeply, which is something I will never apologise for, and nor should I. I think it’s a very attractive quality to have. An important quality to have.

Loving to me comes easy. It’s natural. I don’t think it’s hard to love someone at all. I don’t think it’s even difficult to find someone to give that love to. You could find that person today. Right here. Right now. Because the person you should look and need to fall in love with, is the most important relationship you will ever create and sustain. That person is of course yourself. 

I have said it time and time again, but in order to fall in love with someone else, you need to fall in love with yourself first. Every. Little. Bit. Confidence is attractive. Not arrogance mind you, but a confident person gives off the vibe that they’re happy and content. Because they truly are.

We’re attracted to people with high energy. When was the last time you fell in love with someone because of their miserable demeanour, or pessimism? Never. People with high energy feel complete, and anyone who adds to their life is a pleasant accessory, not a necessity. 


“The person you should look and need to fall in love with, is the most important relationship you will ever create and sustain. That person is of course yourself”


The hardest part about loving yourself, is understanding how to. Because no one ever really tells you that. The trouble is, self-love doesn’t come with instructions. You can’t be told what to love about yourself; that’s something you need to figure out on your own.

It’s also about accepting and trying to change the things you don’t love. Selfishness, rudeness and inconsideration for example, are all personality treats that live within a lot of us, but the beauty is in acknowledging them. To be confronted with all the things you knew about yourself but tried to hide away, takes courage. None of us are perfect. I repeat – NONE of us, are perfect. And no one will ever expect you to be.

There will be times where you hate yourself, where you feel you’ve let yourself or others down. That’s also OK. It’s the process, and in the process we must trust. You aren’t going to get it right all the time. The important bit is how you redeem yourself and the situation. You are allowed to make mistakes, it’s part of growing.

We all have our flaws, and some of them we won’t be able to change. But to try and be the best person we possibly can be… Well, we need more of that in the world. Working on yourself is the most powerful force, as you will start to fall in love with who you are, and as a result will attract the right people into your life.


“Self-love doesn’t come with instructions. You can’t be told what to love about yourself; that’s something you need to figure out on your own”


So last New Year’s Eve when the clock struck twelve and I was thrown into drunken embraces, I said something entirely different to myself.

I said “this year… Is the year I learn to love myself”.

And I did.

I learnt to love who I am. I know who I am, and I also know that I’m on a continuous journey. I encourage you to do the same.

Fall in love with who you are, and don’t be ashamed to admit your imperfections. They make you, you… And what a wonderful you, you are.

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