You Really Need To Stop Comparing Yourself To Other People

If you’re reading this, then I’m going to predict that there’s about a 99.99% chance that you are a human being with blood flowing through your veins, a healthy pulse and perfectly normal rational emotions. If not, you’re either a vampire or dead. (In which case I wouldn’t want to encourage you to continue reading, please call 999).

My point being, you’re not a robot. You’ve hopefully already experienced every emotion in life that you’re capable of feeling; happiness, hurt, euphoria, jealousy, unworthiness. I say ‘hopefully’ as you’re meant to have felt them. They’re what make you grow. Each one forces you into facing a new emotional experience – some more challenging than others, albeit still very important.

There are certain situations in life that we simply cannot avoid or control i.e. how other people treat us, and then there are situations in which we definitely can i.e. how we treat ourselves. If you follow my blog, you’ll know that a lot of my posts will encourage self-love. Working on your relationship with yourself before you look to connect with a potential partner.

How many times have you looked at someone and compared yourself to them? How they look, act, what they possess, how much they’re worth financially. We all do. And it’s destroying us. We’ve got to learn how to stop comparing ourselves to other people and instead learn how to focus on becoming a happier, more content human being.  


Stop comparing yourself


Social media is to blame for it. Believe me, I work in it and it’s the devil sometimes. It’s both one of the best and worst inventions in the world. Great for cat memes, awful for comparing your slightly over-bulging, post-Christmas belly with the washboard stomach of bikini-clad travel bloggers.

Not good. But the punchline? IT’S NOT REAL. Social media is ALL propaganda. Hashtag overuse of #LivingMyBestLife and #IWokeUpLikeThis. No, they did not. They took 150 selfies, and FaceTuned the shit out of the one that made the cut. It’s literally all smoke and mirrors, because someone’s perfectly curated Instagram feed does not ever (and I mean, ever) portray what is actually happening in that person’s life.  

The trouble with comparing yourself to other people on your social feeds is that you are being sucked in by inaccurate information. You cannot compare your raw, uncut, behind-the-scenes version to someone else’s highlight reel. Because that’s exactly what you are seeing.

How often have you posted a selfie with a grin the size of the Grand Canyon accompanied with a cheesier-than-cheddar caption, and inside you were heartbroken? How often has someone asked you at work how you are, and you want to break down in tears but mutter through gritted teeth that “everything’s great”? You do it too. You don’t want everyone to know what’s really going on. Why would anyone else therefore, be any different?


“You cannot compare your raw, uncut, behind-the-scenes version to someone else’s highlight reel”


The thing is, none of us are stupid. We know that picture-perfect Instagram feeds are fictional, we just choose to believe otherwise. To fantasise about a more fulfilling life, to convince ourselves that there is better out there. Maybe there is, but it definitely doesn’t exist amongst Photoshopped waists or Valencia filters.

Is it really fair to compare your life to someone else’s, when you don’t know the full picture? All you do is devalue your own worth, and that is seriously damaging to your soul. You’re comparing your entire transcript to someone else’s synopsis, which is only going to encourage feelings of unworthiness and self-loathing. It’s affecting your sense of existence.

What you fail to realise is that someone looks at you every day and wants what you have. Every. Single. Day. Because of the way you present yourself, you’ve become somewhat valuable in their eyes. I bet you’ve never noticed it though. You’re too busy using other people as a benchmark for your self-evaluation.

Other people’s accomplishments should not be the barometer from which you analyse yourself. Every single person on this planet is fighting a battle you know nothing about. Mental health and emotional vulnerability has just become such a taboo subject that no one feels that they can open up about what’s really going on. It needs to change.


“What you fail to realise, is that someone looks at you every day and wants what you have”


Having said that, comparison doesn’t always have to be a negative thing. We can channel comparison to motivate ourselves if used in the right way. If you want someone to compare to, compare yourself to the person you were a year ago.

How have you grown? Are you a better person? What have the past 12 months taught you? What are you grateful for? The only person you should be sizing yourself up against is the person you know best. You cannot run from yourself. You cannot kid yourself into being someone that you are not. You cannot filter over your life and view things through rose-tinted glasses.

Because only you know what is really going on in your life, and that is the fairest comparison you will ever be able to make. You are the one person that you will never be able to lie to. There is no app to skew your life into being more attractive than it actually is.

And that is OK. You need to be OK with that being OK. Would you rather accept that your life is never going to be perfect, or continue trying to impress people that you don’t really care about? People you will probably never even meet. Are they really who you will think of as you take your last breath? 


“Would you rather accept that your life is never going to be perfect, or continue trying to impress people that you don’t really care about?”


There is only one of you in this world honey. And the world only needs one of you. She is not prettier than you. He is not more successful. They are not #BossingIt harder. You are bossing you. And there is no one who can boss you harder, than you. 

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